Never Let Go
by Taroschain
Summary: ONESHOT: Most people looked at Alphonse Elric and saw a smiling face and a cheerful demeanor. They saw the love and devotion for his brother. They didn't see the dark possessive streak underneath. Dark fic, one-sided yaoi/incest, violence, and death.


A/N: I had to write this. After reading a number of fics in which Al accepts Ed's love for someone else, it occurred to me that Al is just as human as everyone else, no matter how selfless he acts. I began to imagine what would happen if he allowed his emotions to take over, and this story was born.

Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, this wouldn't be fanfiction, now would it? No, it would be canon, and mobs of angry fangirls would be after my ass.

Warning: Story contains non-explicit yaoi, incest, implications of violence and dark images, and character death. Not for RoyxEd lovers or, indeed, Roy lovers in general. You have been warned. Do not flame me if this story offends – you shouldn't have read it in the first place.

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**Never Let Go**

When most people looked at Alphonse Elric, they saw a bright, cheerful, optimistic boy who, though trapped in a suit of armor, could light up a room with his happiness. If you asked about his feelings for his brother, most people would use phrases like "brotherly love" and "devotion" and "unconditional affection."

What most people would not describe – could not fathom – were the darker, more possessive feelings that lay in the bottom of his heart, only surfacing at night as he sat, unblinking eyes watching his brother sleep. These were the feelings that stirred in the dark, when no one could see; the ones that caused him to regard Ed's sleeping form with a passion that was anything but brotherly.

The same passion drove him to forbidden manners of thinking, and even more disturbing conclusions. There were thoughts he would never say, words that seemed almost blasphemous in the face of all that the brothers had been through. For, despite all they had suffered and all that was lost, despite the sadness he felt at his brother's overwhelming guilt, there was also a part of him that took a little bit of joy. As Al watched his brother scouring book after book long into the night, a certain sense of pride and comfort welled up within him:

"As long as we are looking, he is mine. As long as we are searching for a cure, his is mine. As long as he feels it is his fault I am trapped in this body, he will not leave my side. As long as my life is his responsibility, no one will take him from me."

A roiling knot of guilt sat in his chest, and for once he was thankful that his metal face could not show emotion.

His guilt and faith in his brother's devotion, distressing though they were, kept at bay the more dangerous emotions, and it was not until a visit to Central when he took notice of the way Ed looked at Roy Mustang that a cold, bitter wave of jealousy took hold of his heart. Still, he knew that until their bodies were restored, his brother would never act on the feelings Al had seen dancing in his eyes.

Then, the day finally came.

The day their impossible dream turned to reality finally dawned, and Al felt – yes, felt! – unfeeling metal turn to flesh, both exhilarating and terrifying. His body and mind were filled with a myriad of feelings, and he experienced, for the first time in what seemed a lifetime, two very different emotions in particular. Though the safeguard of his brother's attention was gone, so was the layer of metal that had so long separated Al's body from his. After countless nights, watching and wishing, a long-forgotten spark of hope flickered to life within Al's heart, and he finally dared to believe that his love might have a chance. His hope filled him to the brim and overflowed in a radiant smile as he and his brother beside him accepted hugs and congratulations from military personnel who had shown up to witness the occasion.

Then Mustang approached to give his regards and, as Al looked toward his brother, taking in the way Roy's hand lingered too long on Ed's shoulder, the light blush that dusted his brother's face, and the smirk the colonel gave as he began to turn away, a burning sensation filled his newly-given chest and, with a fire and passion most would have thought impossible, Al knew hate. As he watched the longing with which his brother followed Roy's retreating back, a firm conviction settled into his head: the colonel was in his way. He would have to go.

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Tracking down Mustang and luring him into the alley had been all too easy. Al was a very convincing actor, and the colonel had no reason to suspect him when the boy approached him on the street that night, sobbing, wide-eyed, that he found a child crushed under a dumpster. A whimpered plea for help was all took, and then he was pointing a shaking finger into the dark, directing Roy to the metal block at the very back. The older man crouched down, peering under the dumpster and finding nothing but shadows and bits of garbage.

"Al, there's no one here. Are you sure this is the right-," Roy cut off his question as his ears were met with the light sound of metal scraping against concrete. He turned around and froze at the sight. Al was walking calmly toward him with a metal pipe in one hand and a smile that made his blood run cold.

"Oops, my mistake."

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Roy's funeral was a solemn affair, conducted with all the protocol befitting a man of his rank. The atmosphere was dark, and even the ever-composed Lt. Hawkeye could not hold in the tears that streamed down her face.

Afterward, when the brother returned to their home, Al held a shaking Ed, fingers undoing his trademark braid and softly gliding between the golden strands.

"Oh god, Al," Ed choked out, the sobs the wracked his body dying into unsteady breaths, "I never thought…I mean, this was Mustang! Sure he was a bastard, but I just…I thought he would always be there, y'know? Him being a jerk, it was just…just one of those things you think will never change, and I thought if anyone…" At this point Ed tightened his grip on Al, burying his face in his brother's shoulder. "If he can be taken away…" Ed broke off with a small sob, and when he continued his voice was much softer, "Al, I don't want to lose anyone else."

Al smiled into the top of his brother's head.

"Don't worry, Nii-san, you'll always have me, I'll always be by your side. You won't lose me, I promise."

Ed pulled back slightly so that he could look into his brother's face. His eyes filled with tears again when he saw Al's gentle smile. Slowly, hesitantly, he gave the smallest trace of a smile in return, the sorrow in his heart, for that instant, forgotten.

"I love you, Al. Promise me you won't leave!"

Al placed a tender kiss on his brother's forehead before embracing him, smaller body pressed tightly against his own once more.

"I promise, Nii-san. I'll never let you go."


End file.
